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Thursday, May 27
Ok, I am so bored. Today, was the last day of exam and no one is online????? Only Afi is online. Haih, one person only. I am stuck in the office still in my school uniform and I wan't to play ER3!!! I want to kill people! Lol. Yeah, so I'm insane, what's new? Lol. I went to crush.com again out of boredom and I put some crap inside. Didn't work. Lol. But try it lar, it's fun. Anyway, I'm just writing this out of severe boredom. Better than drawing SJ logo right? I already drew three or four in this exam. That's what happens if u put me, a protractor and a compass all together in a state of boredom. Lol. Anyway, ta for now.
Please tell me this IS baby blue colour... Oh well, nevermind that, it's not important. Exams are over! I'm supposed to feel free but somehow I don't really feel that way, I don't know why. Anyway, I changed the template of my blog as I am sure you all can see. Do you like it? It took me about an hour to do because I wanted to keep the fireworks thing and I had to put the tag board and everyting. I still have my banner at the bottom but I didn't take the marquee on top because I have no idea where to put it. =( I liked that thing. Anyway, I can't seem to put Enetation on. I dunno where to paste it. I tried to paste it after the post and at the part where it said comment blah blah but all also cannot. I don't really like the blogger comment system because it's so troublesome. Have to click this and then that... enetation is much easier. Oh, I was suppsosed to link dS and I forgot. Haih, so forgetful. I guess it's because exams are over and my brains are in off mode. Hahah. So anyway, my links are all invisible unless you hover on it so to make it easier, I put an underline underneath the links. It's because some of the links are shorter and some are longer. The Crimson Room link for Wai Cheen is in my previous post. I hope she comes online soon enough before the post disappears. I also hope she tags me because there really is no other way for me to tell if she came to my blog yet or not. I'll make another link for her. ~crimson room~ Ok, bye for now. Got to go out for a while.
Wednesday, May 26
I just sent a frenster msg to Gene scolding him because he was promoting ciggarettes. Lazy to type...
~crimson room~
~try this!!~ the last link damn chun!!! predicts ur crush and everything. I faked my relationship with James Lee and it came out correctly...
Sunday, May 23
Tomorrow got history exam, I haven't study yet and I am online. Naughty girl but well, when have I ever been good? Hehe... *Halo around head disappears* So anyway, I am dying of sien-ness. I think Jason(J) thought I was really weird today. He would usually talk to me, I am normally quite quiet in class so he talks to me only a little bit but he still does talk to me. Today, the only thing he said was "I thought next week no class?" and "Next week no class" That is all he said to me. When I went to class again today, I wasn't early but he was late so he wasn't there and I had nobody I WANTED to sit next to. I just sat next to this girl, I think her name is Jane or something. Because when I went there, there were only very few people, every person that came, I thought silently in my heart "Sit next to me and I'll kill you" Hehe. But of course, one by one, they all started sitting next to me. SO when J finally came, he sat in the biggest and only gap available. Beside some guys. And then, he got up to go "keng kai" and my other facilitator sat in his place because she thought no one was sitting there. Then J came and couldn't say anything because my oher facilitator, Aunty E, is much older than him. So he took another chair and put it next to me!!!!! I was on top of the world. I gave him my letter and stuff, and that's when he said "I thought there's no class next week?" then he went out of the class to check for me and blah blah. When he came back, he confirmed it. But Aunty E was so mean, made him do some work and he had to shift place with Jane so I had to endure the rest of the class sitting next to a girl who never talks and watch J talk to other girls. It was then that I realised how ugly his teeth are. They are crooked and worse. But I look beyond all that, I can see his gay-ness, his immaturity and his love for feminine colours. Lol. He wore only one ring today which is uite a good change. I noticed the only accessory he never changes is his cross. I love it because, though it's plain( rather like mine) it is hung on a short chain. So cool, VERY fiminine but very nice. He wore two black sting thing on his hand today. And a stupid babyblue friendship band on his leg. Maybe I should make him a baby blue friendship band. =P After all, I do have a lot of cross stitch thread left, if I could find it. I miss him already. Now, I am seriously confused between W and J. I know Jian Hao(JH) knows my blog now, and I just realised that I don't care. I mean, I think I can trust JH not to spread stupid rumours about me and to keep whatever he reads in this blog private. He doesn't even know who J is and I doubt he knows W so who cares? As for smile, I am so over him, I couldn't have cared less. There still is this habit thing about me, that everytime I see the word Cheah or Australia, I get a weird feeling and I have to tell myself that I am over him. I know it's not because I still like him, it's because I've liked him for so long, it just became a part of me. I got used to it and I can get unused to it. We're still friends but I will never have feeling more than that. When I like him before, the feeling was so real that I could imagine us getting married! Now, that thought comes with questions like will it be in a protestant church or a Catholic one? A preist or a pastor? Even thoughts like contraception or not? comes into mind... So now I know, he is not the one for me. Although I can't imagine J or W and I getting married, I'm 15, I'm not looking for a husband, I'm looking for experience to help me into the real world. If it comes to marraige, I'd rather have J, despite his childishness, I know life will be much easier if we don't have that religion thing. W? He's a free-thinker( and plays golf =P) and I can't imagine life with him if he is forever going to be a free thinker. It would be difficult. Well, that's about all I have to say before I go into suicidal thoughts of failing my exam. I am still looking forward to CC camp. Bye for now. and good luck for your exams
Wednesday, May 19
Half the class didn't go to tuition today. So fun! But we still had to do work obviously. I think I have finally got the pemfaktoran thing. The crisscross one. Teacher put 9 questions on the board and asked us to do it. I looked at it blankly and then tried to do, after a while, I gave up and asked YT to teach me but she said she wasn't very sure herself so I asked Sam. I hadn't figured out the first question and he ahd already finished all nine! So memalukan. So anyway, he explained it to me and I think I finally got it. Hopefully I won't forget by exam time. Teacher said it was quite important because it was the basics of addmaths. If this is the basic, I am never going to learn addmath. Lol. I hope it won't be all that hard. But after learning it, it was quite fun to do. I felt like I could do a dozen more. Just so that I won't forget but teacher asked us to do model exam papers instead. She said "Must get full marks!" and I got two or three wrong. Ahhh!! Anyway, my math isn't al that good si I guess it is not that bad. I hope I do get full marks for the coming exam though, it has to pull up my other marks. I haven't even started studying Geography nor have I finished studying History. So sad lar... I am going to DIE! My mum will kill me, my teachers will kill me so I don't have to kill myself. So chun right? Lol. Anyway, I want to go try study now so I won't come online til I get bored of studying. Which will be like in two seconds? Lol. So cu.
Monday, May 17
I didn't go school today because I was too lazy to wake up. Hehe. Yesterday, went to CC as usual and... he wasn't there when I went so I couldn't sit next to him. Sad? Not quite. He came and then sat next to me! He actually wanted to sit next to some other guy so he sat in between me and that guy. He wore some weird 'bracelet' with baby blue beads on it... and baby blue underwear. =P Lol, jkjk. That's what he said anyway. He said "yeah, somewhere elses also baby blue but can't tell you where" to another guy. and that guy replied "prove it" Haha, obviously he didn't. I found out that last year in camp, he shared the same bed with Shaun with the lame excuse that it was cold. Haha. Ok, I know he can't be gay because of the religion thing but it was really gay of him to do that. Cold then hide under the blanket lar. Okok, anyway...In tuition today, I was talking to YT about CF. (christian fellowship) and I asked her who else was in CF because I wanted to join for fun. So she told me one whole long list of people, Aaron Chai being one of them. And she said "Aaron used to be Catholic until we saved him and then..." WHAT!!!????? What does she mean 'save' him? Does she mean being Cathlic is a sin? Save???? We are Christians too. Is she saying we're bad? So bad that they had to save Aaron from being Catholic? SAVE!!??? I can't get over it, SAVE? What save? He wasn't in trouble or in anything bad, so what exactly did they save him from? God? I can't believe her... I can't believe them! Is this the way they ses us? As bad people? The way I see bomohs and witches? We aren't praying to the devil or doing anything bad so what did she save him from? And I can't believe that Aaron converted into protestant. Where's his faith? But that's besides the point, my whole point is what do they mean by save? How can she use save when there wasn't anything to save him from? I won't even say save if a person converts from Buddhism to Christianity let alone Catholic to Protestant which really are two different branches of Christianity. SAVE?? Save?... What save? There may be quite a few differences between Catholic and Protestant but mainly, it is all the same. We believe in one God, Jesus dies for our sins, the bible which is only different by a few books( Catholics have all the books and more). I can't believe they 'evangelise' and convert people from God to God. That doesn't even make sense. I can't understand them. I didn't tell her that I was Catholic and I'm glad I didn't because now I realise that this is actually how they the Protestants see us Catholics as. I fell like calling Jason and talking to him but unfortunately we're not that close. Now I know that Smile and I will never be together. I will forever be a Catholic, let God and all my readers be witness. And he sees me, as a Catholic, as some idiot who doens't believe in God and needs to be 'saved' Yeah, well go save yourself Smile. I wil, change the image that Protestants have on Catholics. I have never been this 'religionist' in my life. I'm going to bring this topic up in CCCamp. I have to. I can't belive the words she used. "save" save from what?! I feel like 'saving' her from her stupid belief of whatever DUMC has made her believe. I am not angry, I am just very very surprised and offended. the more I think about it, the more I can't get over it. I am nt going to be able to sleep tonight because I will be thinking of this crap until I get to clarufy it.
Saturday, May 15
Why is there never a Friday that goes by that allows me to live peacfully without hearing Smile's name? That stupid Sam never has anything better to talk about. Everyweek he will say the same name. So annoying. I feel like punching him, lucky he was quite nice to me yesterday so I refrained from doing so. If he didn't talk to me at all, he would have gone home with a black eye and my shoe print on his ass! Hehe. Ok, fine, I'm not that bad but still. Actually, I was quite surprised that he talked to me yesterday. Usually, he would just be sitting behind me and we practically act as if we don't know each other. I guess it's because I was sitting sideways yesterday because this stupid fat guy was sitting at the same table and I had nowhere to put my legs. I usually have no problems with leg space when the girl sits at the table, that guy must have had really long and/or fat legs. Haha. Somebody is tyring to sabotage me! Well, not exactly but... W. said someone told him that I was power hungry. WTF?! I hope that won't make him give me a lower post in SJ. I am not power hungry, it's just that I don't join anything else other than SJ so I need to get quite a good post. I'm not even aiming for presindent or anything like that. I know YT is going to get it and I think she deserves it too. I think that for all the dedication I have for SJ I deserve a good post. I want to know who said that crap about me. He obviously doesn't want to tell me. He asked me if it was true which was really dumb of him. If it was true, I wouldn't have told him, duh. And if it isn't true he would have gotten the same answer as if it wasn't true. Well, it isn't true and I know I will get what I deserve, even if all I deserve is no post.
I had so much to write yesterday but no time. Today, I have so much time but I can't remember what I want to write anymore. Sigh, short term memory loss. Well, I want to go do some crap right now or maybe go to toilet o something. Whatever lar, see what my modd wants to do. Bye.
Wednesday, May 12
Somebody kill me... I just did something that I have always believed never to do. Never hint to a guy you like that you like somebody else. I just told W. that my heart is thousands of miles away and the guy who stole it doesn't know it's with him. What if W> like me but now thanks to me, thinks I don't like him? I know he probably doesn't like me but still... there is a small cahnce isn't there? SHIT! I should never have done that. I am so damn stupid... How could I have done that? It is about the most stupid thing I have ever done in my life. I opened up to him so much when I was chatting with him today. He felt it too and he asked "why do all the people I'm not close to tell me all their secrets?" That means, he doesn't feel he's close to me. Sigh... I told him so mnay things today which I would die if he told anyone else. Die of embarrassment mostly. I really regret telling him that but there's nothing I can do. I amso dead. I feel like killing myself. I am the stupidest b**** on the face of this living earth! I suddenly hate myself all over again. Somebody, kill me... and make it painful.
YAY!! I finally finished the game! With more than A lot of help from dS. Hehe, quite fun also lar. I want to play the other rooms but must go study or else will me died by my mother. Hehe, I make English a language you have never heard of before. Lol. So actually, the reason for my previous post is so that Yun can know where the Crimson room is. So she can play. Lol, she so smart, probably can do it without my help lar. Yi Theng today said she kena-ed marah-ed by her parents because her first term position dropped. From second dropped to third in Angerrik! She is damn siao man... That girl is one damn crazy but fun person. She scared me today because she said she want to commit suicide, she didn't sound serious lar but I read that if a person says s/he wants to commit suicide, you should take it seriously. So I don't know lar. That's for her parents to take care. SO anyway, I shall stop blabbering and go to my other blog which I have been abandoning. Au revoir et a demain.
I am playing Crimson room and Dsaint is helping me. He is doing what Yun did. Telling me every single step and even that is not helping. I think some may find it not as nice to play because it is not scary. The pictures are also less realistic compared to those in Viridian room. SO anyway, that's about all I wanted to blog about. W said he trust me today but I think he only said that so that I will go to Area camp which I don't want to go regardless of what W. or Smile says. I want to stay at home with my family and my bed. Hehe. And the internet of course. So anyway, apart from W. calling me 'reject' and then apologising for it because he wanted to save trees, nothing much has happened. So Au revoir et a demain.
Tuesday, May 11
I have finally finished the Viridian room crap. After Yun told me what to do. Step by step and I'm sure she feels like killing me right now because I am such a slow learner. Lol. I should not be online because exams sre next week and I haven't started studying at all. Yes, I haven't started studying and here I am being so calm with it. Sigh... I am mad I am sad I am stressed and I am depressed. Well, I have to go home now to hopefully catch up on some studying. HOPEFULLY! Hehe, everybody I know have been asking me to study so I shall try to listen to them . Bonne nuit.
Saturday, May 8
I have given up on the stupid game. If you want to try it, go to here and try itout. If you figure anything out, let me know. I can't even find some of the Chinese characters that's why I don't know what they mean. I think I had one or two more items to find in the game. I searched high and low and high and low(literally) but I still couldn't find it. Maybe I'm blind maybe I'm stupid but whatever it is, i don't care. I have given up on that game. I shall go and learn Chinese instead. I learnt how to write "mo" and "duo" in Chinese as well because it was in the note I found in the game.
I am in the office right now. (duh) and a student's mother is sitting opposite me. Quite far away and thankfully her face is blocked by my computer screen. So anyway, she is about the most sour looking person I have seen all day. She's waiting for her son and I think she is severely bored so she looks sour. If I had a camera with me, I'd take her stupid picture and post it up here. Hehe, be careful when you cross my path. Lol. Just kidding. Seriously, she's so sour. I feel like slapping her when I see her.
I have no idea why on earth I am blogging about other people. As if I care if she looks like sour puss. I still remember last time when I was in about Std thre or four or something like that, I used to paly this game called Dr. Sulfur's night lab. Really cool game. I think it is what gave me such interest in Science. It is really a nerd's game. All the games my mum bought me are nerdy but fun! I love them. So, DSNL is about making experiments. Then there will be different chemicals and you can choose one and mix it with another in a beaker or whatever and see what happens. You're supposed to follow the instructions on what chemicals to put in where and when but I was a curious girl so I just put everything I wanted to into the same container and watch what happens. Usually nothing happens so I burn it all over the Bunsen Burner and everything melts but I still have no idea what it is. I followed the instructions before and made all sorts of funny coloured ink, some alloy thing, stainless steel which turned into a sink once I put it in the mold and a volcano. The typical one of baking soda and vinegar. I love that game. I wonder what happened to the CD. It is the most fun game and I don't think I have rgown out of it yet. Lol. There were also other things which one could do in that game like save some fella who was trapped somewhere by burstiong the balloons with the right answer. I always lost that one because some of the questions were so difficult that I understood neither the question nor the answer. Maybe by now I'll know but I'm really not sure. There was also another section with mising the matters together or something like that. The only thing I remembered about that one is that there was something that looked strangely alot like shit. I remember the fish one where I was supposed to feed the fish a mixture of this and that so that the fish wont die. And also contro the level of oxigen in the tank. All my fishes ended up dying, I am so glad my dad takes care of the fishes I have at home.
I love Nemo! My dad finally bought a clown fish and i named him Nemo, my dad only bought one and not a pair because he wasn't sure if Tigger (my trigger clown fish) would eat it. Lol. My dad also bought a baby blue tank which I obviously named Dory. It's only a baby because the bigger ones are quite expensive. Some can go up to more than RM100 apparently that's why my dad always buy them when they are small. When you buy them as a 'baby', there is more sentimental value because you watch it 'grow up'. Like when my other puffer fish died, my dad was so sad. My whole family was sad. However, I still prefer dogs or hamsters. It is easier to 'experiment' on them than it is with fishes. When I say experiment, I mean like give them human food and stuff. With dogs and hamsters, you can pet them and carry them and with dogs you can even hug them and kiss them. But you can't do that with fishes unless you find the thought of dipping your head in the aquarium and getting your nose bitten off appealing. So anyway, my dream is to get a dog. Someday, I will. I love dogs... Well, I want to go home soon so bye bye probably for the last time today.
I am still stuck in that stupid game. I'm starting to wonder if I need to know Chinese to figure outt he game. There is some stupid note and it's in Chinese. Only problem is, I don't understand Chinese. So I went to Learn Chinese and now, my chinese is a little better. I also know how to write his surname if it is written like that. I know it is Cheah lar but I dunno if it's his Cheah. I am going to go mad just playing the game. I don't even know what I'm doing. Doc said after playin a while, I'll get the hang of it. Yeah're right... I'm just as lost as I was when I started. Yerrr..... So frustrated. I now also know how to write 'cute' and 'clinic' in Chinese in my desperate attemt to find out what the note means. I don't even know in which order the note should be in. Should it be left to right like in English or should it be read in the traditional Chinese way from top to bottom? I don't even know why I want to find the meaning of the note. Sigh... What to do, I started and now I got addicted... I will never play the games doc plays anymore, it is to difficult for my nonexistent brain. I guess be doctor(to be)'s wife can already lar, no need to become doctor. So difficult. I think I have been at that game for 2 and a half hours already. Stupid game.... Hehe.
I just finished a conversation with Smile and man do I love him. Although to be honest, I was very excied at the beginning but after a while of talking to him, I calmed down. Maybe it's because I am playing this stupi stupid stupid game. Some Viridian thing I got from Dr. Liew Must be an old man's game. Hehe... It may be a stupid game but I'm playing it... I want to quit because it is so hard but every part of me is telling me not to give up so easily. I don't even know the objective of the game. I think it's to escape from the room but Dr Liew said something about using the things to escape. Escape? The only thing I managed to do with the things I have is light inscense. I can't even spell that word. sheesh... I think I must collect everything to escape and also ust find the equally stupid key which is supposedly in the hideous skeleton. Or maybe the skeleton is the key? I don't know. Like I said it's a stupid game that smart people like me won't play. (oh, quit barfing already) Hehe. This is the first time in my life that after playing a game for so long, I still have no idea what the heck I'm doing. The room is so small that I have already gone around it a million times. Oh well, I just wanted to blog to get my mind of the game for a while. Didn't want to get too stressed out about it. so I am giong back to the game. Nite you guys.
I am wearing my SJ Tshirt in a piblic place! Somebody sue me! Ok, fine, so I'm high again... What's new? Hehe. I know I shouldn't be wearing it but I was too lazy and too late to bring a spare t shirt. If W. was here, I would be dead or perhaps deaf from his granfather-like lecturing. Yun came to her first SJ meeting today, she looked so bored. I couldn't spend time with her because I am supposedly the next bod or something. I don't even know, I just think. I don't want W and YK to step down. I'll miss them, once they step down, I will barely get to see them because they will be too busy studying. NERD! Be like me, don't study and fail everything. Haha... I will definitely miss W. I hope we will continue to SMS each other and stuff but what if we don't? I don't want to lose touch with him. If we barely talk to each other when were still in the same school, we probably won't talk to each other at all when he leaves. I dont' want that to happen. I seem to be losing touch with all my friends if I don't see them everyday. W. will probably go overseas to study after SPM so I can't phone him or SMS him too often. That leaves us with only one way of communicating, internet. SUX! In the internet, we can't really say what we think of feel because it is all in words. Sometimes, when I'm being sarcastic, he won't even know. I can be sad but write as if I'm happy and he won't know either. Like when I talk to Smile, I am so nervous but he deosn't know that. That's good of course but my point is, he won't really know how I feel . W. is really nice. Today he kept on talking to us because he felt that we weren't organising the meeting properly. He isn't as 'kan cheong' as YK is but he doesn't really trust us to this either. I can't blame him though, we really aren't good at it. I will miss them both like mad when they leave. Tomorrow, there is some stupid area meeting that I want to go but I've got church. I want to go to church, I need to go to church but YK and W says it will be a good experience for us to learn and be more involved but I'm still not sure. I really really really want to go for both. I know it's important to go to church because God comes first but SJ is also important. Especially since we are so blur and green to SJ. YT has agreed to go if I go that means if I don't go, she won't go. I want to go, she wants to go but we both have church. Sigh... Decisions decisions... I'll ask my mum. Everytime I don't want to think, I ask my mum. Hehe, what are mothers for right? Tomorrow is Mothers' Day and I haven't gotten anything for her. If I go for the meeting tomorrow means I can't spend much time with her and I might not be able to be home in time for lunch. But I think it will be a good experience for me and I also know that I will be able to use whatever I learn there. I will also get to meet sirs and other people from SJ so I get to expand my rather measly and pathetic network of SJ people. I am so damn confused. Both SJ and church are so important to me. I love Sj and it is almost more important than my studies itself. Church of course is more important than studies but my church also realises the importance of school so they rarely ever clash. I know that before PMR, we are going to have a long study break from CC. Hehe, at least I get to concentrate. That is of course if SJ isn't taking too much of my time. I know Yk and W try very hard to make time for studies but it's not just the normal school meeting that we have, it's also like tomorrow's area meeting, the stupid stupid kawad and stuff like that. Flag day is coming, and then there's area inspection and area camp which I am not going to go. Atleast the state camp is in December, the only time of the year when studies are really last on the list. I am going to go mad just trying to decide what I should go to tomorrow an dI can't go for both because the times are the same. Sigh... Even that kaya pau wasn't enough to put me on a high, high enough to make me forget. Sometimes, I can understand why people take drugs. Oh well, just chop off my head and all my troubles will be over. Lol Jkjk Bye for now.
Friday, May 7
It's a Friday!! I love Fridays!! It means I can stay up until the middle of the night and the next morning go late for Sj and then kena pump again. Fridays RULE!! Man, I am so high! So anyway, as usual, I just came back from tuition. That stupid Sam who wants to be Smile was talking about Smile. Not that much actually, just mentioned his name twice and I couldn't stop smiling afterwards. To get my mind off Smile, I looked out the window to watch the papayas ripe. I looked and looked but somehow, after fifteen minutes of staring, the papayas didn't seem to turn any orange-er. And after writing that sentence, I realised that I can barely spell papaya without hitting the backspace button. I always miss out the second 'a' BUT you don't have to know that. Lol. W. says he's glad he's not shorter than me because of what i wrote in friendster. (That shorter guys are nicer to kiss) Like I ever want to kiss that ugly toad. Muahahahahahaha..... Man I'm so high. I have never said anything as nasty as that about him before. I can't believe that I just did. I must be pms-ed or something man... So anyway, I didn't get to wet Yun in school today because I finished drinking my water. I only brought one bottle today so I was really thirsty especially after kawad. She didn't even get wet at all! So lucky. She sprinted away like a goodness-knows-what who was kicked in the ass and ran away. Hehe. Ok, so I'm not very good at metaphors or whatever you call it. I'm not very good at literature either so I have no idea if it's called a metaphor. Sigh, I got nothing to crap about already. My mind is asleep and very distracted. I want to go write my story or something. Unfortunately, I do not bring my disc to the office. actually, I think it's a good idea not to bring it, I do not want my dad reading all that crap. W. says he might not be going for tomorrow's SJ meeting and neither will any of the seniors. Sigh, it is going to be damn difficult.
Thursday, May 6
I just finished chatting with W and all the way, he never let me forget that I am "a little kid". That is what annoys me most. *sigh* So anyway, I was supposed to come to the office today to study but I conveniently forgot my books so I can't study. I guess I should be searching for things related to smoking for our oral and lisan. I am going to o mad, I hate using search engines. I used to use it all the time to search for sailormoon stuff but now it seems to have gotten less user friendly. Maybe it has something to do with my brain capacity shrinking, I don't know. But I just don't like to use it. I seldom get what I'm searching for. Maybe it's because the internet has grown so much since my sailormoon days so there are always more results. Maybe it's because I've gotten pickier and more precise about what I want when I hit search. I don't know. I want to find more information about the Quit and Win competition so I want to go to The Star Website and see if there's anything for me there. Have to find cause, effects and solution. Well, that's translated to English from BM so it may seeem really weird. Maybe I should just call my mum and ask her. I feel like sleeping, I feel like eating and I feel like dying. All of which I cannot do. So sad. Damn sien lar, today.
Yun, I tried the find source thing you asked me to do and it didn't work. Nothing came out. So I still dunno how to do. Oh by the way, it's in Gerrard Lim's blog Quite a nice blog. Damn funny.
Ok, this is probably the last post I have for the day because my mood isn't exactly at it's best. Maybe I'll make another cheong hei post tomorrow. Haha. I love being cheong hei.
Goodu Bai
Wednesday, May 5
W. has been messaging me on Sat, Sun and Mon nights. I am so happy that he has although I am rather worried about my phone bill when it comes. I will be so dead but a part of me just doesn't care. I think/ know that he just treats me as a friend because there was one message where he said "what's with u? It's not like I'm ur bf also" *sob sob* I know he's not my bf so I don't know why the heck I'm so sad. I guess that there's a part of me inside that was/is hoping that we will some day, couple. He's nice. I'll tell you all the things I like about him. He's mature, well kind of. He's responsible and capable. Like in the SJ camp he was well... responsible. He's really straight forward too and that's good. Unlike a certain someone, so cheong hei. He's kind and caring. Like int he SJ camp, he insisted in helping us cook eventhough his hand was hurt. He's calm, I say that because he didn't cry when he got cut. Lol. But during the Batu Caves duty, he was no where near calm. He was paranoid and over reacting. Kind of like YK. But I guess that's only because he knew he was responsible for our safety and if anything happened to us, he would be the first person my parents will look for. He can be really fun to be with. Especially when we're not talking about SJ. Like when we SMSed each other the past few nights. He's really sporting, he was the one who suggested to throw YK during camp. He's cute, not in looks but in character. I still can remember the first time we met. Doubt he remembered it though. I was in form 1 and it was at the first SJ camp I ever attended. YS probably remembers it. So, we were in the same squad, I think. And this is quite a well-known story. We had that stupid egg race where all the members of the squad must roll one the egg into a basket on the other side of the... wait.... I thing I've told this story before. I am way awy way too lazy to check so I shall not carry on. Yeah, I told it before. This is something nobody knows, until now. I had a small crush on him then. I found him very knowledgeable... knowlegeble... knowlegeable... well... whatever, However it is spelled, I'm sure you get what I mean. He was the only guy in our squad who could cook, may I add the only person who could cook too. I don't think his cooking is really that good but it certainly is better than mine. I found him kind of cute too and I love his sportingness. He is really cool. Yes, that's the word I want for him. He's almost perfect. Almost only though. In form 1, I seemed to be having crushes on every guy I met so I decided it was nothing and in form 2, I thought and still do think, that he is really irritable. He gets irritated at every slightest thing. There was once, last year that I even thouht to myself. "omgoodness, I can't believe I actually liked him. He is so sux" Lol. Well, I think differently now. Maybe he has matured, maybe I have matured but most likely, we both have. Although I am really not sure if I'm ready for a relationship with anyone at the moment, I really want to be with him. He's nice. Yun thinks he's ugly. *sob sob... waaaahhh* He's not exactly the hottest guy in town when it comes to looks but it's the inside that matters. Forget about W. I have a few photos of camp. I'm not in any of them, I might be in one but the lighting is really bad so you can't see my face but anyway, I'll put them up. At least Yun will know what were talking about if we talk about camp during SJ. Here goes..
Crap... I can't seem to get the photos in, Something happened to my blog. Nevermind. Sorry people. I'll try to resize it another day and post it.