I'm on the internet... I'm on the internet... I'm on the internet... Lol. I'm using my mum's laptop because the so called computer repairman still hasn't come to fix my comp. I'm not really sure if I want him to fix to be honest... he doesn't seem to be now what he's doing. Ok. I have a lot to write and again I am on a time limit to go home and have reunion dinner. It's not much of a reunion actually it's just my immediate family and my grandmother. My grandma is going to stay over again and she's going to stay in my room again. It's so unfair... for three years now she has been staying in my room, she never stays in my sister's room. She should stay there instead because I still can remember the first time she saw my room and then she saw my sis' she said that my sister's room was much nicer and asked if I was going to repaint my room. My room is purple and my sis orange. I was so offended. I mean just because you don't like it doesn't mean the whole world doesn't. It's so unfair. Life's so unfair. Yesterday, my mum was supposed to be on leave but she called her colleague to my dad's office to work after office hours. I asked her to bring me so that I could just be with her but she said that I was sleeping and didn't want to wake me up. I still can rememebr a few weeks ago I was complaining that she didn't spend enough time with me and she said that this CNY she would be taking leave and we can spend some time together but I was on the verge of tears at that time because in my mind I knew that when the time came, she would have to say she's sorry again. It's always like that. I don't know why she bother's to take leave if she's going to work anyway. My life is becoming like my story only without Stepdaddy perfect. You know, my character dies when she's 15, that is one part that I wish would come true in my life. Don't you think it just sucks when you want to die but you can't because your religion doesn't allow you to? Life sucks.... Sigh... See, now I'm about to cry again... but I can't because I'm wearing contacts... Yeah... But it's only for a month so I'm not supposed to get used to it. It's a free pair because my glasses are with Malaya Optical to put in my new lens. My power went up to 500. Gosh I'm on my way to being blind... And I can't seem to stop using ... Anyway, apart from the fact that life sucks... CNY is coming and I have no mood to celebrate it. I still can't get along with my father, my mother is working too hard, I don't have my privacy or my freedom, I can't seem to do my school work right, I don't have the mood for anything. I've been crying myself to sleep for the past few nights and I don't know why. I just feel like crying. ARgh.... What is wrong with me?? When I'm in school and having fun with Yun, I don't really feel all this and she'll be singing and bugging me to give her songs to sing and usually it will be lively until my thoughts drown out her singing (which is quite difficult to do =P) then my mood just goes all bad again. I think she probably realises this. It usually happens at the end of school when I start to think about what I'll do after school which obviously means that I'll have to see my dad. I just hate being with him. I love him, I do but I just can't stand him. I don't know why. And now I'm afraid that I'll cry my contacts out again but I can't because my mother is with me and if I cry she'll get worried and everything will just suck even more. Nothing is going right for me... everything is just so wrong... it's just so wrong. A few days ago, I found out that the parents to a friend of mine were splitting up and instead of thinking "Thank goodness that's not my parents' I instead wished that it was. I don't know if it's my story that I'm getting to into it that I want to live it... I don't know what it is... I don't know anything anymore.
Well, happy chinese new year... wishing you a healthy and prosperous new year ahead...